They dance for laughter, they dance for tears,
They dance for madness, they dance for fears,
They dance for hopes, they dance for screams,
They are the dancers, they create our dreams.
Clyde Mendes (Take-a-Break)
Showstopper of the week: Ricky Groves
After THAT cha cha cha, came THIS paso doble. With the training room footage featuring Erin asking, "Are you ready?" and Ricky delivering the response, "Yes, I was born ready!" you knew you were in for a treat. And with a yell to start proceedings, dreadful facial hair, some hefty fake tan and a decent effort at that matador leap, Ricky G was surely born to close the show.
Heart in mouth moment of the week: Aliona Vilani
The celebrities often worry about walking down the Strictly staircase, instead it was Rav's partner Aliona who nearly took a very ungraceful tumble. Maybe they should have realised then it wasn't to be their night.
Cutest moment of the week: Brian Fortuna
Ali Bastian looked nervous standing in the wings waiting to dance her quickstep - until partner Brian stuck out his tongue at her to make her giggle moments before they walked onstage. No wonder people are asking whether they might be more than just dance partners.
Good decision of the week: Ricky Groves
There was plenty of chest on display last night, with pros Darren (for the first time ever), James, Vincent and Brendan all showing some flesh, plus the now regular appearance of Ricky W's performing pecs. EastEnders' Ricky G went for the option of a shirt under his matador waistcoat. Phew.
Body bit of the week: Ricky Whittle's bottom
Lynda may have grabbed Darren's behind in their routine, but it was Ricky W who showed he had a backside to match the well-lusted-over joys of his chest. You've got to love Latin trousers.
Gurner of the week: Brian Fortuna
Following in the footsteps of Ricky 'the Goldfish' Groves and Craig 'huh' Kelly, Brian shows the pros can give some good facial contortions too.
Bum fluff of the week: James Jordan and Ricky Groves
Apparently there is something about the paso doble that makes men grow facial hair. Shame that James and Ricky G were left looking like there's had been drawn on with felt tip pen.
Bad music of the week: Lynda Bellingham and Darren Bennett, Zoe Lucker and James Jordan
Have to say I'm with Brucie on this one - paso doble needs the proper music. These songs had so little drama. Kristina Rihanoff and Joe Calzaghe just about got away with it with Bon Jovi.
What are you on? of the week: Alesha Dixon
Where did that 8 for Natalie Cassidy's paso doble come from? It was all skirt swishing and clumsy dragging round the floor. Fortunately their choice of traditional music gave it some extra oomph.
Cheerleader of the week: Bruce Forsyth
Was it really necessary to keep saying Alesha had a good point?
Backfiring plan of the week: Brendan Cole
When you dance like Jo Wood, having a large section of the routine where you are effectively just lifted off the floor and carried around probably seems like a good idea. And it worked - until the end as Brendan tried to throw her into the finish and it went a bit wrong.
Nickname of the week: Jo Wood
Now known as Have-a-go Jo, she seems to be the judges' pet project as they give her pep talks and advice where they choose to just rip other dancers to shreds.
Inequality of the week: Boys v girls
With seven couples having danced, the top four were girls, the bottom three were all boys who had done ballroom. The girls' advantage of having the boys to haul them around was shown by Laila and Anton, who managed to get 30 despite it looking to me like she was clinging on for dear life in places.
Alesha being right of the week: Laila Rouass
Craig and Len had given 8s for what to me seemed a very average routine - thankfully Alesha saw a bit more sense and pulled out a 7, matched by Bruno.
Ray of sunshine of the week: Phil Tufnell
You just can't help smiling watching him dance. And his dancing face somehow makes him look permanently surprised that he is gliding around the floor with a beautiful lady not making a complete hash of things.
Competitor of the week: Katya Virshilas
With Tuffers still grinning at his score of 24 despite things going wrong in the second half of the dance, pro partner Katya cut in with, "Imagine what our marks could have been." Erin's reputation as Miss Whiplash may be under threat.
Brave/foolish moment of the week: Jade Johnson
Made use of every bit of the floor - but you wouldn't get me leaping off the stage in high heels to a quickstep.
Move of the week: Kristina Rihanoff
First there was the weird one leg over his shoulder balance/lift thing, then the dive forward roll over his shoulder. Particularly tickled me as one of my friends had earlier been demonstrating how she sometimes likes to do a dive forward roll into bed.
Costume of the week: Joe Calzaghe and Kristina Rihanoff
Kept largely under wraps until they actually took to the floor, Kristina looked like she had a nice gold frock and Joe looked manly in a black vest. He walked out and you spotted the boxing-style belt detail on the trousers. Kristina's skirt was removed to turn into a cape - with the added detail of Calzaghe on the back, just like the robes he would have worn into the boxing ring. And it turns out the belt had a Welsh dragon in too. Nice attention to detail.
Most improved of the week: Joe Calzaghe
Lived up to his outfit and looked to have lost a lot of the fear. Yes, the dance suited him but he can take confidence from this and have a real go next week. And Kristina did not need to resort to a repeat of the sack of potatoes John Sergeant move.
Happy feet of the week: Chris Hollins
He may have made a few mistakes but he makes dancing look like the most fun thing in the world (which, to be fair, it is). it is so obvious he is enjoying it.
Right more often than not of the week: Craig Revel-Horwood
His 3s for Jo, Joe and Rav made me wince, but I found myself agreeing with him more often than not and reckon the others have got some serious mark inflation going on at times.
Rollocking of the week: Aliona Vilani
Got told off by the judges for choreographing a routine that didn't suit partner Rav. He had already been in the dance-off once, which suggests he didn't have a mass fan base anyway, but Aliona (who was criticised for their rumba routine previously) has to take some of the responsibility for their exit. Wouldn't be surprised if she went the way of Hayley Holt.
Quickstep of the week: Jade Johnson and Ian Waite
A bit rougher around the edges than some dances admittedly but full of energy, fun, great choreography and awesome music. That is why I love the quickstep.
Paso doble of the week: Ricky Whittle and Natalie Lowe
Proper music and proper dancing. Awesome.
My tip of the week: One for the boys
Stop looking at your partner when you're dancing ballroom! Chris, Craig, Rav and Phil all looked to their safety net far too much.